Crying it out

As I type this, I am preparing myself for a long night. You see the DR. has said that L is officially big enough to sleep through the night. She is well over the weight requirement to do so. He said that the quickest and best way for her to learn to sleep all night is to have about 3 rough nights of her doing some crying and then she would sleep. So tonight is the first official night that I will not pick her up when she wakes in the middle of the night. Do you think I can do this? I am not so sure. It kills me (as you moms know) to hear my baby crying, the instincts kick on and I have to respond! That is how humans have survived, the baby cries and the mommy stops the crying. But it is time for her to sleep and for me to too.

You also need to understand that I have been a special education teacher since Jan. of 2002. I have been working mostly with kids birth to 5 who have disabilities. And of the children who have disabilities, children who have Autism are my favorite kids to work with. So, for the last several years I have been telling parents to let their kids "cry it out"! It works! Intellectually I know this. I have let many students cry in my classroom and eventually they move beyond crying and we actually get work done. One student we will call A.

I was working in Early Intervention --- kids birth to 3. I went into the homes of the families and worked with the whole family. This was one of my favorite jobs!!! A had a form of Autism. I have no way of explaining this next thought, but it is what has helped me to help the kids I've worked with over the last several years. After working with a child for a while and getting to know the child, in my bones, I usually know when a kid can talk but won't because crying has always works. If crying no longer works, then the kid will talk. There is no science to this except that I just know when a kid will eventually talk. This boy, A, had not ever spoken. We could hear him cry out or laugh, but he would not use words to communicate. After being in the home for some time, I said "OK mom, this is it. I know he will speak if you make him speak. You pick one item that you know he wants more than anything. No matter how long it takes, do not give it to him until he speaks." Mom chose milk. When A said milk, he could have milk. Mom told me she was going to do this on a particular day. I wished her well and gave her a few words of encouragement. Then walked out the door as I said a little prayer. The next day I came back to their house and mom and nanny answered the door. She smiled and said, "He said milk!" Mom explained that the afternoon before, they saw him reaching for milk. They held it back and just kept repeating the word. He started crying and jumping up and down...but two and 1/2 hours later...yes, 2 1/2, he sighed and said, "MILK!" So you see, I know this works. I have encouraged crying out for many (not all) children who after some tears went on to learn many words and were finally able to communicate beyond grunts and cries!

But now I have my own daughter and feel the instincts kick in that I have been telling parents to ignore when we were working on specific situations with certain children. I had no idea the instinct was SO STRONG to respond to your own child. Well, here we go and I hope I can make it tonight. I know this will work. Since Matthew is home he is going to be my voice of reason in the night. Do men really not have the same kind of response as moms to the sound of a crying baby?

Here is a question for you. How did you finally get your child to sleep through the night?


Prayer Request: Dear God, Please be with my friend Julie who along with her family, are missionaries in Bolivia. There are major safety concerns there because of what is going on in the country. Please send angels to protect her and her family! In Jesus name, Amen.
Here is her blog to be updated:http://jjmarcum22.blogspot.com/ You can read about the concerns she has. She is there with her husband, and 3 daughters, along with, I think, 2 other families. PLEASE PRAY!!!!