My 10-year college reunion was last week. Wow. "That is crazy to me to think about" is of course what everyone says. Because of the reunion which I missed (living in Japan put a damper on that one) I have been thinking about my college years. For almost two weeks I had dreams every night about the what ifs and maybes of all the big decisions I made back then. Boy I sure knew nothing and the older I get the less I realize I know.
Sad to say, but I really don't remember college very much. I of course remember close relationships but not a lot of the college experience. I am not sure what happened to those years other than I know I worked hard. I think the working hard is what did it for me. I went on about 4 hours of sleep per night almost the whole time. Between 18 hours/semester, working off campus (many weeks up to 30 hours/week), work study, being an RA and soccer, I have very few and very vague memories of those years.
I do remember my college recruiter saying that I would be married by the time I graduated and I looked at him confused. Why would I get married in college? I was there to get a degree! Then after my first year at York I think there were about 21 weddings...and I figured out what the recruiter was talking about.
I remember hating school the first 2 years and then loving it the last 2 1/2. That would be because I met some very dear friends who I still keep in my heart. But most of the time in York is a blank. I didn't have a camera and I think that is a huge part of why I don't remember much. There is nothing to look at and reminisce about. I also have a terrible memory which is something my daughter has already figured out; she is very patient when I am constantly forgetting things.
About all I remember is being poor...I once was so poor I had no $$ to fill up my gas tank and my boyfriend at the time had to push my car into the gas station and put gas in it. I was too proud to ask but since he pushed the car into the gas station I suppose I really did need the help with a little gas. I remember one semester living on crackers and cheese and when my roommate felt sorry for me she would give me a can of tuna.
I don't even remember doing homework...which I must have done because I graduated with a 4.0 in my major and with honors overall. But how or when did I do it?
I don't know what we did for fun. I don't remember much at all which is such a shame. I am certain that college has played a HUGE roll in who I have become, I just don't remember how I got here.
I hope that my children don't have to work like I did when they go to college. And I will definitely be sending them with a camera!
What are your memories of your late teens and early 20's?
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
The list goes on...
Our deployment has been filled with lots of adventure:
One ER visit for L
Dr visit for ear infections
back thrown out
22 vomits/cribs changes in 11 days
hand, foot and mouth on all 3
more double ear infections
about 5 different viruses going through the kids other than the hand, foot and mouth and the ear infections
boys going to have ear surgery for tubes
one boy identified as DD -- temper tantrums, sensory issues and language delays
audiology appointments
ENT appointments
EI appointments for OT and SLP
I believe there was another ER visit in there for one of the boys
back hurt again
getting fat because I now eat when stressed and there has been a lot of stress (didn't know this about myself until my metabolism slowed and the gaining started)
My brother leaving for the sandbox doing a VERY dangerous job
car blew up
other car died
L broke her toe or jammed it really bad
I have had one night of really good sleep since May
Boys referred for the Developmental Pediatrician because they are having so many issues
One seizure
To think that there are still 2 months left of this "adventure" makes me want to vomit, convulse, and run away all at the same time. At least we don't have cancer, at least we don't have cancer, at least we don't have cancer has been my mantra lately. Because I frequently feel that is the only thing to be thankful for...then I remember all the blessings and try to hold onto that.
Blessings:
Family members who send cards, email, call and send packages and write FB notes
Friends who send packages, cards, call and leave FB notes
Books sent to all of us
Bath and Body sent to us
Goodies for the kids
My mom was able to come help at one of our lowest points
Friends here who are making us meals, calling and literally shoulders to cry on
Friends who have watched the kids for a bit, run to the store for us or picked up necessities for us
People from church who (even though we haven't been there in months because my children are always sick or I am too overwhelmed to try and get 3 kids going by myself) still continue to check on us
Respite care for the kids
Free to our family child care
The fact that even though I have never felt worthy to have any friends, I have more close friends than I can count
People who make me laugh
We continue to have the maids come once a week who are a life saver in the midst of our chaos
Connor has made so much progress since bringing a cat into our home
The cats -- Beastie and his "Foster" sister Fiona
Looking forward to a trip to Australia
Being able to get a hold of M right away when we need his support or to let him know about something going on
M's unit and the wives of his unit have been such a support
Even though I am not at the point where "if I had the choice I would do it all over again" cause right now I think if I had the choice I would not have children...I do love my kids. I am trying to get past the point that if there were no children in my life, there would be only 2 adventures on the "adventure" list above. I have always been a "rather not love at all" than a "better to have loved and loss than never loved at all" person. This may sound crazy to you, but when I met Matthew, I told him I would rather miss out on knowing him then to have him break my heart. He got it right way and has only made my heart bigger and better and I trust that he will not ever break my heart.
However, those kids are still blessings with their snotty kisses, giggles, smiles and for those few moments when they actually play together without anyone getting hurt. When L gets excited about something and can't hardly talk or when Caleb walks up to me and kisses my leg for no reason at all, or when I get the the child care center and Connor runs to me with a smile that spreads across his WHOLE face! When the kids are actually laughing together and talking about daddy. When Connor tried to comfort Lexi today because he understood she didn't feel good. When Caleb walks up to one of the cats and lays his head on the kitty. When the kids pick up the phone and try to call grandma or dadda....these are all moments I love. Sitting on the hallway floor reading a book or when L gets so wrapped up in her imagination that she truly sees a different world in our living room....these are all blessings. Alright, maybe I would still have those monsters again if I had the choice...but don't let the word get out ;).
Thank you for being part of the blessings list as we struggle to make it through the "adventure" list.
In about 68 days there will be one of the biggest blessings of the WHOLE year of 2011! So hang in there with us and please continue to love on us as we try to make it through.
PS look at that, is the blessing list longer than the adventure list. Thanks God!
One ER visit for L
Dr visit for ear infections
back thrown out
22 vomits/cribs changes in 11 days
hand, foot and mouth on all 3
more double ear infections
about 5 different viruses going through the kids other than the hand, foot and mouth and the ear infections
boys going to have ear surgery for tubes
one boy identified as DD -- temper tantrums, sensory issues and language delays
audiology appointments
ENT appointments
EI appointments for OT and SLP
I believe there was another ER visit in there for one of the boys
back hurt again
getting fat because I now eat when stressed and there has been a lot of stress (didn't know this about myself until my metabolism slowed and the gaining started)
My brother leaving for the sandbox doing a VERY dangerous job
car blew up
other car died
L broke her toe or jammed it really bad
I have had one night of really good sleep since May
Boys referred for the Developmental Pediatrician because they are having so many issues
One seizure
To think that there are still 2 months left of this "adventure" makes me want to vomit, convulse, and run away all at the same time. At least we don't have cancer, at least we don't have cancer, at least we don't have cancer has been my mantra lately. Because I frequently feel that is the only thing to be thankful for...then I remember all the blessings and try to hold onto that.
Blessings:
Family members who send cards, email, call and send packages and write FB notes
Friends who send packages, cards, call and leave FB notes
Books sent to all of us
Bath and Body sent to us
Goodies for the kids
My mom was able to come help at one of our lowest points
Friends here who are making us meals, calling and literally shoulders to cry on
Friends who have watched the kids for a bit, run to the store for us or picked up necessities for us
People from church who (even though we haven't been there in months because my children are always sick or I am too overwhelmed to try and get 3 kids going by myself) still continue to check on us
Respite care for the kids
Free to our family child care
People all over the world praying for us during our rough times
People who make me laugh
We continue to have the maids come once a week who are a life saver in the midst of our chaos
Connor has made so much progress since bringing a cat into our home
The cats -- Beastie and his "Foster" sister Fiona
Looking forward to a trip to Australia
Being able to get a hold of M right away when we need his support or to let him know about something going on
M's unit and the wives of his unit have been such a support
Even though I am not at the point where "if I had the choice I would do it all over again" cause right now I think if I had the choice I would not have children...I do love my kids. I am trying to get past the point that if there were no children in my life, there would be only 2 adventures on the "adventure" list above. I have always been a "rather not love at all" than a "better to have loved and loss than never loved at all" person. This may sound crazy to you, but when I met Matthew, I told him I would rather miss out on knowing him then to have him break my heart. He got it right way and has only made my heart bigger and better and I trust that he will not ever break my heart.
However, those kids are still blessings with their snotty kisses, giggles, smiles and for those few moments when they actually play together without anyone getting hurt. When L gets excited about something and can't hardly talk or when Caleb walks up to me and kisses my leg for no reason at all, or when I get the the child care center and Connor runs to me with a smile that spreads across his WHOLE face! When the kids are actually laughing together and talking about daddy. When Connor tried to comfort Lexi today because he understood she didn't feel good. When Caleb walks up to one of the cats and lays his head on the kitty. When the kids pick up the phone and try to call grandma or dadda....these are all moments I love. Sitting on the hallway floor reading a book or when L gets so wrapped up in her imagination that she truly sees a different world in our living room....these are all blessings. Alright, maybe I would still have those monsters again if I had the choice...but don't let the word get out ;).
Thank you for being part of the blessings list as we struggle to make it through the "adventure" list.
In about 68 days there will be one of the biggest blessings of the WHOLE year of 2011! So hang in there with us and please continue to love on us as we try to make it through.
PS look at that, is the blessing list longer than the adventure list. Thanks God!
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