Birthday

It is that time of year. June 1 is my Birthday. Gifts are not really my favorite, I just love for people to acknowledge my day and wish me Happy Birthday. So celebrate with me as i turn 31!.

On Friday we are having pizza and an ice cream cake. On the actual day of my birthday we have fabulous babysitters lined up while Mama, Dada and Uncle Baba got o dinner. So thank you friends for watching our herd of children.

M also has taken off the next 2 weeks. So after months of craziness at work, we are going to have some time to enjoy one another. The Marine Corps. was kind enough to give M 3 weeks off when the boys were born, but there was not too much down time since the boys were in the NICU during that time. We are very excited to get out, enjoy one another and enjoy the terrific adventures on the island.

As far as L goes, she is telling stories like crazy. She sits at the table for dinner and just jabbers, jabbers and jabbers. We understand one or two words here and there, but every couple of "paragraphs" she will give a hearty laugh so we laugh along at the "punch line". She loves playing with her babies and balls. I am hoping to save up and buy her a real wooden kitchen soon so that she can "cook" dinner with me. I am not totally sure why it is so important to me to buy her a kitchen...I know she would LOVE it; so I suppose that is reason enough for now. Since we became debt-free I have not had too hard of a time waiting to purchase things, but this one is hard. I really want it for her, I know she would enjoy it so much, especially right now -- but will continue to save. Hope this encourages others who are trying to live the debt-free lifestyle. Takes some discipline sometimes. Lots of people are living debt-free which is awesome! Why should we work to pay everyone else. We should work for ourselves.

Connor is consistently rolling over and can be selective as to when he wants to pass out smiles. He is holding his head up and loves to be held and swaddled. Connor is definitely a higher maintenance baby than L or Caleb ever were or is. Though in the world of babies, he is still easy.

Caleb is somewhat holding his head up. He gives out smiles like no other and he rolls over occasionally. He is much more content to hang out in the swing and does not need to be swaddled during the day. Caleb is very laid back and squeaks all the time...even while eating and sleeping.

Mama is holding up. So many people comment on how lucky we are to have twins (especially the Japanese) or comment on how they always wanted twins or thought it would be cool. Who wold wish for twins?!?!?! Who would want to have barely enough sleep to smile. In the last week, I have had 4 days which started at about 4:30 am and ended at about 11 pm. Why would that be cool? Why would you want to just get one baby to sleep and literally within 30 seconds the other starts to cry? Then when you get number 2 down, you hear, "Mama, Mama" coming from the big girl's room. Ok, I know this is a bit different from the last post, but the reality of twins and then twins with a toddler is tiring. Teaching was still more difficult than parenting, but with parenting I am just so tired.

All of this is also included with chasing L through the house and then tackling her with tickles. Then there are the moments where L and I get to giggling and just keep on and on. Oh, yeah, we also have the times when Caleb looks into my eyes and smile at me like I am the only person on the planet. L will also walk up to Connor and kiss him on the head or ask to hold Caleb. The joy of seeing calm wash over the boys when they are laid together is pretty great too. I love my kids, I love my kids, I love my kids...but maybe my grandmother was right to cry when she found out I was having twins. She cried because she remembered how hard it was. Maybe I should have a good cry and then go change another diaper :).

Happy Birthday to me!

Thinking

This past weekend we had a NICU reunion. The families who have had babies in the NICU while living in Okinawa are invited to attend this annual celebration. The NICU staff gathers and invites the families to honor the babies who have been taken care of in the NICU.

It was surprisingly an emotional event for me. The staff who took care of our 2 boys were incredible. And every once in a while I think about what they did for our boys. C & C would not be alive had the staff and NICU not been there. I would be a mother grieving the loss of her two boys. Especially the first week of the boys' lives...there is no way that Connor would have lived just after birth and Caleb would have died shortly after. So in the moments when all 3 kids are crying for something, all 3 kids need diaper changes (though L is very close to big girl panties) and all 3 kids are having rough days --- I need to think back to how had we not had the NICU and NICU staff, I would still be the mother of one living child.

I don't know why I keep processing our NICU experience over and over. I suppose its just part of life. At one point M and I were so stressed that the skin on my feet and the skin on M's hands was all coming off. Before this experience I had no idea that skin would peel off in times of stress. As soon as the boys were home, both of our hands and feet cleared up.

I wonder too if I keep thinking about this because I have several friends struggling with the grief of loosing their babies. I read their blogs and am so heart broken. I know how close we were to grieving our boys, but our boys are alive and doing well now.

I celebrate the lives of our 3 kids. I am grateful that L has had an extremely healthy life and that the boys are now doing well. I am grateful for a husband who works hard for our family. I am grateful for my brother who is the Godfather for the boys and who took care of us through all of the craziness with C & C's births. I am grateful for wonderful friends. And and I am grateful for my mom and M's mom and step-dad who came to get us through the roughest part of being home with the boys. Even the first month and 1/2 at home were very difficult. I am grateful for my dad and sister who are coming to visit. (My dad is a awesome cook as well). I am so thankful that these people who came to help and are coming to visit are getting to meet C & C rather than attending their funerals. Sitting at the NICU reunion, I was overcome with thankfulness for the lives or our children. I suppose these moments will come and go throughout the lives of my boys because I know how close we were to not being able to enjoy watching their first smiles, first laughs and so on.

Here is one photo of Caleb while he was in the NICU. When I walked into the NICU and saw Caleb under the blue lights, I remember thinking, "This is the worst he will look. Take a picture so that when he is marrying the girl of his dreams on his wedding day, we can remember how far he has come." This is still the hardest photo for me to look at -- but I am so grateful for where C & C are now!

Upgrades

Before

After

Before

After

We have been busy upgrading our home. When we moved in I was over the toilet puking multiple time per day; that does not leave much time or energy for painting. Now that I am no longer being poisoned by pregnancy, I have been working. We had M's mother and step-father here for an entire month!!! They were able to take L out for the day or hold C & C so that we could paint and garden. Here are a few photos from our home...

Before

After

Before

After

We are so grateful for the help that we had during the last month and 1/2. We would not have been a very successful family of multiples with a toddler had we not had support. We are so thankful that the boys are coming right along. Though we did have an ER visit for Connor this past weekend.

Connor started only nursing for about a minute or 2 on Saturday afternoon. Sat. night he started throwing up and didn't keep any of his feedings down along with arching his back and screaming out right before he would throw up. (you may be thinking acid reflux...I know what that looks like and it doesn't happen for 5 hours one night). I called the Dr. and we headed to the ER to get things checked out. Connor had to go back in Sunday morning to have follow up, but he was just fine. The X-ray and check-up showed nothing wrong. With L, this kind of stuff happened a couple of times and I never worried. With C & C I am much more of a nervous mother since they were peemies and so sick at the beginning. They are so much more susceptible to illness because they were early and we have no room to spare. They are tiny for 2 and 1/2 month old babies (ok weight for their adjusted age) and they cannot afford to loose any weight. So the Dr.s said he was clear. By Sunday night Connor was back to normal with eating and sleeping. So sleepless weekend for Mama and Dada but all are well.

Two days on my own with my 3 kiddos and all is going well so far. The true test will be this Thursday through next Thursday. M will be out in the field on an exercise and I will be home alone. I am disappointed that M will be gone on Mother's day, but I'll get over it. One of my fabulous friends has already offered to go out to eat with us on Sunday!

L is growing up! She has long hair and talks up a storm. She has over 150 words and that number grows each day. She is using consistent 2-word phrases with 3-words thrown in there. She and I fairly regularly put on loud music and dance around the house. I think this is our favorite special time together; we laugh a lot! She is trying her hardest to "help" with the babies. Those of you who have had multiple children know how it goes. I am convinced that it will be a HUGE miracle if C & C make it to their first birthday. We may have to follow in the tradition of the Hawaiians and and have a huge babys' first Luau to celebrate actually surviving the first year.