Birthday

It is that time of year. June 1 is my Birthday. Gifts are not really my favorite, I just love for people to acknowledge my day and wish me Happy Birthday. So celebrate with me as i turn 31!.

On Friday we are having pizza and an ice cream cake. On the actual day of my birthday we have fabulous babysitters lined up while Mama, Dada and Uncle Baba got o dinner. So thank you friends for watching our herd of children.

M also has taken off the next 2 weeks. So after months of craziness at work, we are going to have some time to enjoy one another. The Marine Corps. was kind enough to give M 3 weeks off when the boys were born, but there was not too much down time since the boys were in the NICU during that time. We are very excited to get out, enjoy one another and enjoy the terrific adventures on the island.

As far as L goes, she is telling stories like crazy. She sits at the table for dinner and just jabbers, jabbers and jabbers. We understand one or two words here and there, but every couple of "paragraphs" she will give a hearty laugh so we laugh along at the "punch line". She loves playing with her babies and balls. I am hoping to save up and buy her a real wooden kitchen soon so that she can "cook" dinner with me. I am not totally sure why it is so important to me to buy her a kitchen...I know she would LOVE it; so I suppose that is reason enough for now. Since we became debt-free I have not had too hard of a time waiting to purchase things, but this one is hard. I really want it for her, I know she would enjoy it so much, especially right now -- but will continue to save. Hope this encourages others who are trying to live the debt-free lifestyle. Takes some discipline sometimes. Lots of people are living debt-free which is awesome! Why should we work to pay everyone else. We should work for ourselves.

Connor is consistently rolling over and can be selective as to when he wants to pass out smiles. He is holding his head up and loves to be held and swaddled. Connor is definitely a higher maintenance baby than L or Caleb ever were or is. Though in the world of babies, he is still easy.

Caleb is somewhat holding his head up. He gives out smiles like no other and he rolls over occasionally. He is much more content to hang out in the swing and does not need to be swaddled during the day. Caleb is very laid back and squeaks all the time...even while eating and sleeping.

Mama is holding up. So many people comment on how lucky we are to have twins (especially the Japanese) or comment on how they always wanted twins or thought it would be cool. Who wold wish for twins?!?!?! Who would want to have barely enough sleep to smile. In the last week, I have had 4 days which started at about 4:30 am and ended at about 11 pm. Why would that be cool? Why would you want to just get one baby to sleep and literally within 30 seconds the other starts to cry? Then when you get number 2 down, you hear, "Mama, Mama" coming from the big girl's room. Ok, I know this is a bit different from the last post, but the reality of twins and then twins with a toddler is tiring. Teaching was still more difficult than parenting, but with parenting I am just so tired.

All of this is also included with chasing L through the house and then tackling her with tickles. Then there are the moments where L and I get to giggling and just keep on and on. Oh, yeah, we also have the times when Caleb looks into my eyes and smile at me like I am the only person on the planet. L will also walk up to Connor and kiss him on the head or ask to hold Caleb. The joy of seeing calm wash over the boys when they are laid together is pretty great too. I love my kids, I love my kids, I love my kids...but maybe my grandmother was right to cry when she found out I was having twins. She cried because she remembered how hard it was. Maybe I should have a good cry and then go change another diaper :).

Happy Birthday to me!

Thinking

This past weekend we had a NICU reunion. The families who have had babies in the NICU while living in Okinawa are invited to attend this annual celebration. The NICU staff gathers and invites the families to honor the babies who have been taken care of in the NICU.

It was surprisingly an emotional event for me. The staff who took care of our 2 boys were incredible. And every once in a while I think about what they did for our boys. C & C would not be alive had the staff and NICU not been there. I would be a mother grieving the loss of her two boys. Especially the first week of the boys' lives...there is no way that Connor would have lived just after birth and Caleb would have died shortly after. So in the moments when all 3 kids are crying for something, all 3 kids need diaper changes (though L is very close to big girl panties) and all 3 kids are having rough days --- I need to think back to how had we not had the NICU and NICU staff, I would still be the mother of one living child.

I don't know why I keep processing our NICU experience over and over. I suppose its just part of life. At one point M and I were so stressed that the skin on my feet and the skin on M's hands was all coming off. Before this experience I had no idea that skin would peel off in times of stress. As soon as the boys were home, both of our hands and feet cleared up.

I wonder too if I keep thinking about this because I have several friends struggling with the grief of loosing their babies. I read their blogs and am so heart broken. I know how close we were to grieving our boys, but our boys are alive and doing well now.

I celebrate the lives of our 3 kids. I am grateful that L has had an extremely healthy life and that the boys are now doing well. I am grateful for a husband who works hard for our family. I am grateful for my brother who is the Godfather for the boys and who took care of us through all of the craziness with C & C's births. I am grateful for wonderful friends. And and I am grateful for my mom and M's mom and step-dad who came to get us through the roughest part of being home with the boys. Even the first month and 1/2 at home were very difficult. I am grateful for my dad and sister who are coming to visit. (My dad is a awesome cook as well). I am so thankful that these people who came to help and are coming to visit are getting to meet C & C rather than attending their funerals. Sitting at the NICU reunion, I was overcome with thankfulness for the lives or our children. I suppose these moments will come and go throughout the lives of my boys because I know how close we were to not being able to enjoy watching their first smiles, first laughs and so on.

Here is one photo of Caleb while he was in the NICU. When I walked into the NICU and saw Caleb under the blue lights, I remember thinking, "This is the worst he will look. Take a picture so that when he is marrying the girl of his dreams on his wedding day, we can remember how far he has come." This is still the hardest photo for me to look at -- but I am so grateful for where C & C are now!

Upgrades

Before

After

Before

After

We have been busy upgrading our home. When we moved in I was over the toilet puking multiple time per day; that does not leave much time or energy for painting. Now that I am no longer being poisoned by pregnancy, I have been working. We had M's mother and step-father here for an entire month!!! They were able to take L out for the day or hold C & C so that we could paint and garden. Here are a few photos from our home...

Before

After

Before

After

We are so grateful for the help that we had during the last month and 1/2. We would not have been a very successful family of multiples with a toddler had we not had support. We are so thankful that the boys are coming right along. Though we did have an ER visit for Connor this past weekend.

Connor started only nursing for about a minute or 2 on Saturday afternoon. Sat. night he started throwing up and didn't keep any of his feedings down along with arching his back and screaming out right before he would throw up. (you may be thinking acid reflux...I know what that looks like and it doesn't happen for 5 hours one night). I called the Dr. and we headed to the ER to get things checked out. Connor had to go back in Sunday morning to have follow up, but he was just fine. The X-ray and check-up showed nothing wrong. With L, this kind of stuff happened a couple of times and I never worried. With C & C I am much more of a nervous mother since they were peemies and so sick at the beginning. They are so much more susceptible to illness because they were early and we have no room to spare. They are tiny for 2 and 1/2 month old babies (ok weight for their adjusted age) and they cannot afford to loose any weight. So the Dr.s said he was clear. By Sunday night Connor was back to normal with eating and sleeping. So sleepless weekend for Mama and Dada but all are well.

Two days on my own with my 3 kiddos and all is going well so far. The true test will be this Thursday through next Thursday. M will be out in the field on an exercise and I will be home alone. I am disappointed that M will be gone on Mother's day, but I'll get over it. One of my fabulous friends has already offered to go out to eat with us on Sunday!

L is growing up! She has long hair and talks up a storm. She has over 150 words and that number grows each day. She is using consistent 2-word phrases with 3-words thrown in there. She and I fairly regularly put on loud music and dance around the house. I think this is our favorite special time together; we laugh a lot! She is trying her hardest to "help" with the babies. Those of you who have had multiple children know how it goes. I am convinced that it will be a HUGE miracle if C & C make it to their first birthday. We may have to follow in the tradition of the Hawaiians and and have a huge babys' first Luau to celebrate actually surviving the first year.

Coming back...

I will be back soon. Things are calming down around here so updates on the kids for those far away will be coming soon.

Another day in Paradise

If you could name one things about me, what would it be?

That I feel free to speak up.

That I love working with kids?

Maybe that I HATE the cold? Ding, ding ding!

This year I am particularly grateful to have moved off of the entire Continental United States of America. You guys have had it cold! I don't know how NJ (where we were last stationed) is dealing with the 28+ inches of snow in some places. Today is another day in Paradise. We are in the upper 70's with shining sun. So those of you who are grateful to our family for severing in the military, you are welcome. :) I wouldn't have it any other way. This weather is amazing. And it's February 11!

Now for the real update -- Babys' update!

Connor is weighing about 4 lbs, 12 oz
Caleb is weighing about 5 lbs and 1/2 pounds

Have you done that math on that one? I am a woman carrying more than 10 pounds of baby with 6 & 1/2 weeks left until my due date! Can you say you have carried around that much baby? I think I get the "real woman for March" award!
Each boy is estimated to put on about 1 1/2 more pounds and then they will be delivering. Which brings us to our next update.
We will probably be delivering around March 10 as long as I don't go into labor earlier. Next week I should have a better date, as in I see my OB/GYN and his schedule book. We are no longer scheduled to have any more big, super, duper sonograms because we are so close to delivery! Yeah for passing a milestone.

While the Dr. was looking in there today, I asked if the boys are still boys. Yep, they are definitely still boys. I could see the parts that make them boys, even with my untrained eye.

I do have gestational diabetes. So I have to start pricking my finger and monitoring my blood sugar. I have to watch my diet and need to try and get some exercise in. With M coming home soon, maybe I will have some time to go to the outdoor heated pool up and Camp Hansan and do some moving around. A pool would be a place I would feel "not pregnant" so I am going to look into this.

Speaking of M, he was supposed to be coming home on Friday. His flight was cancelled and it looks like he'll be home on Sunday. We are disappointed, but at least he will get one full day of rest in the hotel before coming home to the very long list of things I am hoping he is willing to do as we make the last little preparations for the babies. Maybe this was God's way of giving M a break before he comes home and jumps into a crazy couple of months.

This post would not be complete without letting you know again how wonderful my friends here are! For the last several weeks, a lot of us have husbands away. So we have been trading off having dinner at one another homes'. It has been great. Then today my friend, J, watched L while I had the loooong Dr. appt. My neighbor friend, E, came over too and between them both, they did my laundry, dishes, put toys away, and took all the trashes out. How can it be that so many wonderful people are in my life all the time. I am such a blessed person!

Ok, this mama has one baby girl awake and over 10 lbs of baby to feed an afternoon snack. This real woman is signing off.

Have a wonderfully wonderful day!
B

You know that mama or not, preggo or not, wife or not; I believe all women are real women. I am just finding a fun way to celebrate carrying so much baby. Carrying over 13 pounds of baby by the time this is all said and done is definitely a feet. (sp?)

Mama-san!

Oh we love our mama-san! And I wonder if we are adjusted to living here since L has played "mama-san" in the hallway with our 5-year old neighbor. I don't think L quite understood what she was pretending, but the girls asked for brooms, dustpans and mops. They proceeded to play "mama-san" by pretending to clean the hallway. Have we lived in Okinawa too long?

Several other nuances about living in Okinawa include:

1. The Okinawans like to drive in the middle of the road and MIGHT move out of your way if you don't move first. I think because by looking at the license plate you can tell if it is an American driver or National, the Nationals expect the Americans to move out of the way.

2. Okinawans respect when you try to use Japanese.

3. The fruit here is amazing!

4. The weather is still warm many days. Yesterday the high was 68* which I adore!

5. The Okinawans like to look at blue eyes. They are all in awe of L's blue eyes and repeatedly compliment her.

6. The local people are fascinated by the fact that we are having twins. Twins are not very common in Japanese people, so they are very interested in the fact that we are having 2 boys at the same time.

7. Okinawan women, especially older women, like to rub pregnant bellies -- even more so when they find out its twins. In America this drove me insane and I snapped at strangers who would are to touch me. Here it doesn't bother me that much. I just smile. Don't know why that is so different.


Now for some updates.

Today, several of my amazing friends and neighbors gathered for a shower in honor of Caleb and Connor. About 30 minutes before the shower I started getting really excited. I hadn't realized that this shower was going to be such a blessing for me! I have struggled with the idea of having two newborns at once, but this shower put excitement into the pregnancy for me! All the griping I have done to M, the sleepless nights, soreness, and my impatience with L have not been easy to live with -- for my family or myself. I then feel guilty about being such a pain in the neck on top of being hugely uncomfortable and grouchy. My women's' Bible study group is praying and helping me along with this...but man oh man are there days I think L wishes she had a different mama. So, this shower really came to mean a lot to me! I am grateful for the effort and thought that went into our blessing. I am grateful for the excitement that those around us are sharing with us! I am grateful for God using people in our lives. I am grateful I only have 5 to 6 weeks left of being pregnant!!!!

I hope that someday soon I can start to be a blessing to others! I feel like I have been just leeching others for help and support the last two years (while M was on the hellish year of recruiting and while being preggo with twins). However, I do recognize that I am not super-mom and at this point in our lives, our focus is on our family. Maybe in another 6 -8 months when we have gotten closer to having the twins thing under control we can find people who need support.

So thank you for kind words and loving on our family! We are so blessed to have 3 healthy kids who will hopefully grow into God-fearing, independent contributing citizens of the world! Thank you all for helping us along on this journey.

(I also hope that by being honest on this blog about my thoughts and feelings, that another person who may be in a rough spot will be encouraged. Its ok to feel your feelings! Just don't let your feelings control your life.)

Have a wonderfully wonderful day!
B

A few more pictures. On Christmas Eve Santa was brought to our housing area by firetruck. Since L kept saying "Ho, ho, ho" and signing all done, (little scared of Santa) we skipped going downstairs to see him. She was perfectly content to watch from our 6th floor balcony. One of the pics is at the table in the chow hall with dada and Uncle Baba (Brandon, my brother).

Today L was not feeling her best. Runny nose, horse voice, you know - a kid cold. She was a little irritating to both M and I so I asked L if we could sell her to the gypsies. She said, "No, Baba." I guess when Uncle Brandon gets back from his one month trip, she is going to live with him :) We both cracked up and fell in love with her all over again!

Hope you enjoy the pics...obviously trying to do catch up.

Soon to come are pics of the boys' room. We started painting today and it is looking cute! We have moved L into her new room and she is adjusting. After we finish the boys' room, we will be doing L's room too. We have her big girl bed all set up and are doing some playtime in there, but no sleeping yet. We will want her in the big girl bed in the next 6 months, but no rush. She has enough to deal with when adding in two newborns in the next 7 to 8 weeks.

Speaking of newborns. I get to a point where I am excited about having Caleb and Connor. Then, honestly, the next moment I am freaking out. Not looking for advice here, but just being honest. I think most of my struggle is not knowing what our lives are going to look like. I know what it is like to add one baby to the mix and I have a pretty good idea of what it would have looked to add a second baby to the mix. But 2 newborns at once is scary. Again -- no advice at this moment please - having pregnant moment and just venting. We are grateful for my mom who is coming for 2 weeks right when the boys are born and grateful to M's mom and step-dad who are coming for almost a month to help. Did I mention that M's step-father is a chef --- yeah us!!! So I keep telling myself and M keeps telling me it will be okay. Maybe once these pregnancy hormones are out of my system and I am holding the two bundles in my arms all will be well with the world!!!!

I haven't posted for family far away the new things L is doing for quite awhile so here goes:

Multiple two word phrases.
Trying to tell us stories.
Sitting and reading her books.
Jabbering (with lots of new sounds showing up in the jabber) as she plays.
She is probably up to about 70-80 words, but I am trying not to be obsessive and have stopped writing down each word.
Pretend playing with her dolls, toys and us.
She LOVES "Melmo" or Elmo as we know him.
She pees in the potty every couple of times when sitting on it. Has started to tell me when she is wet and tells me when she has pooped.
She is sensitive in that if you get hurt, she is there comforting you.
She is making friends. She LOVES to play with our 5 year old neighbor. This little girl is amazing with L! We are grateful L's first friend is so kind and sweet with L.
L likes to help with chores -- sweeping, putting dishes away, dusting.
If you have an itch, she likes to help you scratch it (can't figure out why).
She will say two and eight when counting objects.
She will answer "2" when asked how many babies we are having. She know the babies are in mommy's tummy. When we get new baby stuff, she points to it and says "baby" because that stuff is for the babies.
She loves to eat from shop sticks. And she especially enjoys Japanese noodles.
She will now tell you "No" if she doesn't like or want to do something.
She tries to care for kids who are younger than her and is very concerned if their mama isn't helping as quickly as she thinks the mama should.

Those are the newest things I can think of. Probably missing some because I have pregnancy brain times two, but you get the idea that she is doing well and growing up.

Have a wonderfully wonderful day!

Our Christmas Scene

Some pictures from our Christmas Scene. We loved decorating and being able to enjoy the decorations this year. The last two years in a row we were immediately moving right after Christmas, so everything came down quick. We loved having my brother over during Christmas. We had homemade waffles Christmas morning and then tried a meal the the Chow Hall. Will not be doing that again!

A few pics coming soon.

Lou Lou

Just a few pictures to share.

I heard L saying "Hewo" and when I walked in, this is what I found. L multi-tasking.






L helping get the carseats ready for Caleb and Connor.



L coming home from the hospital.

Good Housekeeping

Oh man, oh man! Today a crew from Okinawa Good Housekeeping came to do the initial cleaning. what can I say but amazing, awesome, glorious! The company sent three cleaners to do the first time cleaning and I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I think because my house will be in regular order, I will be a better mother. I am much more patient and joyful with L when the house is in better shape. I was telling my friend A this (the friend who had been doing my bathrooms and last week did everything) but I don't think she really appreciates how grateful I am to have support. And life really is so much better for L because I am better.
So any house cleaner out there--you make so much more of a difference for families than I think you can even know. My quality of life is greatly improved! Thank you helpers for helping the families who need you!


I was thinking about hiring help! At first I was ashamed that I needed or wanted help. Then embarrassed. Then acceptance. You know, back 100 years ago most moms were stay-at-home-moms and most moms had at least one full-time helper. Then along came minimum wage and that was the slow down of in-the-home helpers. For most of human existance moms had their family in the same village, then moms could hire someone to replace the family support for living far away. Now moms are to do it all on their own -- no wonder post-partum is rearing its ugly head more frequently.

I am not depressed, just tired from being pregnant with twins and doing life with a one year old. I am so grateful for the help we have now coming one per week! I am grateful for the support and love our news friends and church have provided. I am hoping to start giving some back since we have found a church home.

Some praises:
I am still sleeping better

L has been a JOY to be with the last couple of weeks. We went through some rough spots, so I am super thankful that the last couple of weeks have been so pleasant.

M is loving his job! He is in charge of a platoon and he is really enjoying taking care of Marines.

Okinawa Good Housekeeping

3 healthy children so far!

We are still liking living in Okinawa. The food is so yummy! The culture we are adjusting to.

Our new church is pretty cool


Hope you have joyful things going on in your life right now!