Connor is being identified as developmentally delayed. For those who ask, this does not mean he is retarded. He has some areas where he is delayed due to being a preemie, a twin, a boy, having an older sister who "helps" and it looks like he has some sensory integration problems. Which according to medical dictionary means:
Definition
Sensory integration disorder or dysfunction (SID) is a neurological disorder that results from the brain's inability to integrate certain information received from the body's five basic sensory systems. These sensory systems are responsible for detecting sights, sounds, smell, tastes, temperatures, pain, and the position and movements of the body. The brain then forms a combined picture of this information in order for the body to make sense of its surroundings and react to them appropriately. The ongoing relationship between behavior and brain functioning is called sensory integration (SI), a theory that was first pioneered by A. Jean Ayres, Ph.D., OTR in the 1960s.
He has some language delays which contributes to the biting and screeching that he uses instead of words and he has some fine motor (think small muscle) delays. He is also as stubborn as a mule, he wants to do what he wants to do and everyone else better leave him alone. He also appears to have some perfectionist tendencies...so he refuses to complete activities until he can do them perfectly...which makes him appear to be more delayed than he really is. All these separate issues combine to what we call developmentally delayed.
There is no doubt in my mind that he will catch up and probably by the age of 3 will no longer need any services at all which is wonderful. 25 years ago he would have not even been diagnosed with anything other than a being little quirky.
Because the sensory issues, language delay and behaviors (screaming/biting) are interfering with his overall development; he will be receiving Occupational Therapy 2x's/month, a Special Educator 2x's/month and a Speech Therapist probably 2x's/month starting in September.
I hope this is clearly explained for our family what is going on with Connor. If you have any questions definitely feel free to ask! I tend to use the phrases and language of the field just because I was in special education for so long, so sometimes it is hard for me to remember to clarify for people unfamiliar with the way we speak about the field.
Please pray for me...as I am making all these decisions about how to best serve Connor, I am struggling. I struggle with knowing what exactly is the best thing; trying not to be overconfident because this is my field and then having no confidence because it is so different with your own child. I feel lost because my parenting partner is not here to bounce/discuss ideas on how to best help Connor. If M was choosing to be away from our family it would be different, I would just take care of everything. But because he will be back, and he stays involved as the daddy, I want to make sure that the decisions I make are really best for Connor and that M agrees. This has been a very hard week and I can't explain my struggles other than I am not concerned about Connor, but I am concerned about how I am parenting while temporarily parenting alone.
Last night M was able to call and we had the chance to discuss some of this. He was so supportive and wonderful!!! But like my mom says, mother's guilt never goes away. I think most moms do go to bed wondering if they are doing "it" right. I have to give this to GOD and know that he placed Connor in my life because I know what to do for him! I always knew I would have a special needs child...so I have to have confidence that I am best for Connor because this is how God planned it! I am also so thankful that Connor doesn't appear to have a life-long disability. He is delayed right now, but there is no doubt among his team that he will eventually catch up. So while we will have an intense year or two of therapy and support, I am so thankful that he doesn't have Autism, Down's, or any other life-long learning difference.
Caleb is delayed, but not enough to qualify for services. No shock because this is life with preemies...keep your baby in the uterus as long as you can, not that you have much control, but the preemie things continues to be a difficult. So no services for Caleb, but he will continue to be monitored.
Both boys do have fluid on their ears and can hear face to face at about 3 feet. Anything farther than that and they will have trouble hearing. The boys will be monitored about every 4 weeks to make sure the fluid is not causing ear damage or greatly impacting their hearing. The boys will continued to be monitored just to make sure we are staying on top of all the concerns. So glad to have most of the support we need over here.
Alright, the brain vomit is slowing for now. Thanks for encouraging us on this journey!
Please pray for me...as I am making all these decisions about how to best serve Connor, I am struggling. I struggle with knowing what exactly is the best thing; trying not to be overconfident because this is my field and then having no confidence because it is so different with your own child. I feel lost because my parenting partner is not here to bounce/discuss ideas on how to best help Connor. If M was choosing to be away from our family it would be different, I would just take care of everything. But because he will be back, and he stays involved as the daddy, I want to make sure that the decisions I make are really best for Connor and that M agrees. This has been a very hard week and I can't explain my struggles other than I am not concerned about Connor, but I am concerned about how I am parenting while temporarily parenting alone.
Last night M was able to call and we had the chance to discuss some of this. He was so supportive and wonderful!!! But like my mom says, mother's guilt never goes away. I think most moms do go to bed wondering if they are doing "it" right. I have to give this to GOD and know that he placed Connor in my life because I know what to do for him! I always knew I would have a special needs child...so I have to have confidence that I am best for Connor because this is how God planned it! I am also so thankful that Connor doesn't appear to have a life-long disability. He is delayed right now, but there is no doubt among his team that he will eventually catch up. So while we will have an intense year or two of therapy and support, I am so thankful that he doesn't have Autism, Down's, or any other life-long learning difference.
Caleb is delayed, but not enough to qualify for services. No shock because this is life with preemies...keep your baby in the uterus as long as you can, not that you have much control, but the preemie things continues to be a difficult. So no services for Caleb, but he will continue to be monitored.
Both boys do have fluid on their ears and can hear face to face at about 3 feet. Anything farther than that and they will have trouble hearing. The boys will be monitored about every 4 weeks to make sure the fluid is not causing ear damage or greatly impacting their hearing. The boys will continued to be monitored just to make sure we are staying on top of all the concerns. So glad to have most of the support we need over here.
Alright, the brain vomit is slowing for now. Thanks for encouraging us on this journey!
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