Dead Set

Since becoming pregnant, I have realized that many people will do things exactly this way or that. They have researched and think they know what is the best thing to do. Parents think that they know what will and will not work and will gladly share their views with other soon-to-be or new parents. Parents will only breast feed or parents will only bottle feed. Parents know that time-out is the only form of discipline to use. Others only use spanking. Parents read a book or check on the inter net and then magically know how to parent. This is hog-wash!

I will admit I have used the Internet and books to help me along. But as L gets older, I am checking less and less on what everyone else recommends and instead doing what is best for us. There is no one like L and no one like me. And no relationship like the one we have together.

You see, I was never dead set against breast feeding, or bottle feeding. I figured when the time came, we would do what worked and was best for our family. L took to breast feeding like a fish to water. We never had any issues...always had enough milk, never got clogged and did not loose my mind from the hormones. So we breast fed because it worked for our family.

I am not dead set against time-out or spanking. I think for different kids and in different situations, each one will work just fine. I have already had to smack L's hand because she LOVES to go for cords and cables. These are her favorite things in the house to play with. I feel she has to learn not to touch the cords and this is non-negotiable. She could get zapped or worse. Time-out does not work for a child who has the attention span and memory of a goldfish (3 seconds). She touches a cord and gets an immediate and firm "NO!" with a smack sometimes. Then redirects to another toy until she spots a cord on the other side of the room. I refuse to child-proof my house because she needs to learn what is and is not ok. Kids are way too protected. The obvious killers are child-proofed --- like the stairs, cleaners and knives. Otherwise, I believe it is my job to teach what she can and cannot play with. (And yes I have told her for the millionth time and she's only 8 months old ;)

This is because she was crawling at 6 months, and yes that is young to start discipline, but she has to learn. She is on the move, so we have to work with her. From teaching experiences, parents often wait way too long to discipline and then it doesn't work. Kids are too old. I think it would be silly to suddenly start trying to discipline at 8 years old, then be surprised that she won't listen to me.

L also decided this week that she was done nursing. She just no longer was interested and would not stay on the boob. So we are done. I had hoped to nurse until 12 months, but she is done and I will not force her so that my wishes are met. This was a situation where she took the lead and I followed.

My whole point is that when parents are so stuck on what they want to happen, or what they read in a book or on the Internet that they forget to listen to the kids, then that sucks for the kid. As L's mother I will provide what she needs when she needs. I will pick up on her ques and quick checking the Dr. Sear's website for every little thing. If things don't always go the way I had pictured, oh well. Why add what I am dead set on to my list of stressers? I like the easy going life better.

I do like hearing ideas and suggestions (when I ask for them) but will not be dead set on any one way. We will be flexible and work with L and what our family needs.


So, as my facebook status was set to this week...

I am no longer a nursing mother and I did not ask your opinion.